Oscar winning actress Lupita Nyong'o mentioned in an infamous speech that she had once almost to succumbed to "the seduction of inadequacy."
It may have been discreetly included in Lupita's speech, but the seduction of inadequacy, as Lupita so eloquently put it, may indeed be shadow that looms over and darkens the lives of many. It is a strange truth that people can be comforted by their state/circumstances, even if it is not making them happy. A bubble that people are terrified to leave,although they'd never quite admit it. Even to themselves. Take a look around ... The man on his way home from the soul destroying nine to five that comfortably pays the bills ... The same guy on the way to the pub ... The bad habits that get you through the day ... The (nowadays almost inevitable) transition from school to college ... The list goes on and on. What's funny, but more frightening really, is that often we can't even see it. People are so engrossed in this so called 'seduction', that they believe it's just how things are meant to be, almost as if they've been born into a certain life. How wrong they are. Over two days I asked ten people the same questions: Do you wake up each day excited for the day ahead? Do you wake up each day with a plan to work towards the future that you dream of? The answers I got confirmed my theory on Lupitas quote. "I wake up because I have to." "I just get on with it." and even "I don't get up" Two girls told me they are very exited to be working on an exciting project at work. Thank God for that! To dream is not a luxury that only the rich can afford. never think that you're not good enough to have a dream no matter how big it is. Dare to Dream ..and the scary part-Dare to pursue it. Another award winning actor once infamously said- “The separation of talent and skill is one of the greatest misunderstood concepts for people who are trying to excel, who have dreams, who want to do things. Talent you have naturally. Skill is only developed by hours and hours and hours of beating on your craft." - Will Smith” Don't be seduced by inadequacy. If you must be seduced let it only be by the power of your dreams. Yasmin x
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Cead Mile Failte
'Half-Cast' is still a word that makes my blood turn cold. A small incident that occurred when I was a shy ten year old stayed with me for much longer than it should have. The person who described me using 'that word' is actually now a good friend. I've never brought it up because i know that it wasn't what she really thought of me, it was how society had taught her to label me. It didn't stop it hurting at the time though. I remember the feelings of pure hurt, anger, frustration and sadness. One word. I'm half Irish and half egyptian, but I am as they say 'as Irish as they come.' I love tea, I can pull a decent pint of Guinness, my family grow potatoes, i broke the pledge the day I made it, and my answer for just about everything is "ah sure it'll be grand". Yet despite this, growing up I without doubt experienced a somewhat mild form of racism(believe it or not in a small country school ten years ago a Yasmin stood out on the role). Nothing major - just small comments like the one mentioned above, being made feel just a little bit different. My primary school days made me develop a skin tough as old leather and for that much, I am thankful. Things have definitely changed since then. Today, in multicultural Ireland, foreign nationals make up almost 15% percent of the population, only a few years a go we saw 4000 people gain Irish citizenship. Ireland - We are a nation that welcomes, that embraces new cultures, and this has been proven to some extent to be true. But the question still stands - Does racism exist in 2016 Ireland? And in my opinion the answer is yes. Yes it does. We might not hear racist remarks roared across the streets, or scrawled along the walls of our towns and cities. It is an unconscious racism. Perhaps not seen, perhaps not heard, but felt by many. Last summer, I worked as a bartender in Temple Bar. A young eastern-european girl who collected glasses and did stock takes had very little english and few of the other staff bothered to speak to her. On a break one night to her surprise, I made her a cup of coffee and got her talking.She was here working to make money for her, her baby and her fiance whom she was due to marry and move home to next year if she could afford it. She absolutely hated it here(the ignorance of strangers, the anonymity), but said that thoughts of her family kept her going.What I'm trying to say is that everyone has a story, everyone is on a journey, and everyone deserves to be shown interest and compassion in their lives. Nobody is a robot.I know for a fact that a lot of people show disrespect towards others that they may feel are beneath them. They do it unconsciously, caught up in their own rat race, not even realizing at all that they have just treated a fellow human being like shit. I'm very patriotic and I love Ireland, but I find that some Irish people tend to be of the opinion that we are somehow a superior race of some kind. A friend once said to me, and I find this particularly amusing "I couldn't go out with a guy who wasn't Irish. Why?? I don't know, I just couldn't!" I've heard men say the same with regards to women also, and I honestly find it just hilarious. Talk about thinking highly of yourselves! People don't realize that statements like these sound ugly, arrogant and well, downright stupid. Since moving to Dublin two years ago, I have met, worked with, and become great friends with people from everywhere - Eastern Europe, China, Africa, Brazil and many more. They are some of the best and most talented people I know and some will probably even disagree with my views here. Someone recently gave me a really fresh and promising opinion when I questioned him on this subject - I've found that no matter what you look like, if you show that you are good at something and are determined, people generally respect you for it. Ireland has come a long way as far as racism goes, even in the last decade, the progression has been very clear and very sudden. Maybe the changes have come too soon for some? Maybe as a nation we're still in transition? What is clear to me is that this country still has a way to go to stand true to its reputation of Eire - Cead Mile Failte. Everyone spends their life patiently waiting for different things. For some money beats everything, while for others romance is all they ever wish for. Some people long for contentment. Some people only ever wish to feel free. For me, what I always longed for, for as long as I can remember .. was magic. Magic in as many forms as possible. As a very unexcited yet curious and inquisitive child, it wasn’t until around the age of six that I first experience this ‘magic’. Before it was time to go on stage at the town halls annual variety performance, my heart pounded like a drum in my chest. The noise from the audience, the heat from the lights, the sheer anticipation. Once the music started and I hit the stage it was the most incredible feeling I’d ever had. For those few minutes, I was whoever I wanted to be. Before I knew it, it was over and I was almost counting down the moments to when I could perform again. I clung to those performances like glue for the next ten years or so. My fellow dancers seemed to get bored of this magic after a few years as I thought I would. But I never really grew out of it. When I eventually stopped dancing I felt like I’d lost that girl I was on stage, and I spent a long time trying to find her again. I wondered where and how I could experience magic like this again? Would I ever? In the meantime I discovered that there is a certain magic that exists in all of us. Walking through an airport age fourteen I decided to catch as many eyes as possible. And, once more I was anybody I wanted to be.. the confident girl flicking her hair or the mysterious, shy girl with only her eyes to play on. What I now realise is that all those years on stage, I was acting. Or maybe I was being the true version of myself? I can’t quite figure it out. Whatever it was, it was home to me – my happy place. As someone now pursuing a career in the entertainment industry, I know that to some it may seem a shallow or over ambitious path to choose. For me though, it all stems from that little girl who longed for nothing but magic. I laugh when I hear people say ”The struggle is real!” As a person who suffers with anxiety,I know that the struggle really can be very REAL indeed. The millions of thoughts that circulate in your head all at the same time. The overthinking. The lack of sleep. The desire to control everything. The worry. And from all of this – the sheer mental exhaustion. The lack of understanding from others can be difficult to comprehend, simply because you understand them so damn well. Having such a strong sense of peoples feelings can be a curse as well as a gift. I have learned that really everyone has struggles of their own. Everyone’s doing the best they can so you have to just let them get on with it. While my problems may be minor, I have put them to good use. Anxiety has caused me to become an expert in discipline, time management, analysis and so on, which isn’t a bad thing! Yet at the same time it can all affect relationships which is why I try to better myself every day. For my age I feel that my life experiences have taught me an abundance. Simple things, but simple things that are forgotten about in todays society. .I understand that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that everyone should live by this mantra. Try it for a week and I promise it will change your life! If someone is rude to you, you’ll put it down to them having a hard day. Or if you lose your job, you’ll know that it is to make way for a better opportunity. How? You’ll just know. Be kind. Be yourself. Be vulnerable, though not stupid. Have faith. Believe in your instincts. Follow your heart but bring your head along too. In the meantime, while my career path is a tough and competitive one with many ups and downs , the moments of magic it brings and the different possibilities I face make it so worthwhile. I am, piece by piece, finding that little girl on stage again. My advice to you? Find your magic. Whether it be your love of sport, performance, study, creating, writing - whatever it is- Focus on it. Live for it. But also, notice the magic that exists all around you. Watch people. Watch people interact with one another, their contentment. Witness the magic of life itself. Yasmin xx ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The idea of feminism is one I’ve never been remotely interested in or drawn to. The whole concept always seemed dated and unnecessary to me. There’s only so many ‘empowering women’ quotes that one can take – that and the fact that up to this point, the majority of feminist figures/campaigners have all seemed to be some sort of stunt doubles for Margaret Thatcher. I always felt like these women were just trying to be men.
It wasn’t until I came across various recent articles, interviews and social media posts on the topic which have gone viral, that I have discovered that there indeed is a whole new wave of feminism or ‘Fierce Feminism’ taking effect at this time. It’s bold, unexpected and in my opinion – far from unnecessary. As I’ve studied different viewpoints on topics such as the female body, desire, self-acceptance, attention an assertion, there has been a dramatic shift in my mindset. Women are coming together in a mission to ‘reclaim the body’, and I think it’s a very good thing indeed. A few weeks back I came across a quote which read: “We teach girls shame. Close your legs. Cover yourself. We make them feel as if being born female, they have already guilty of something. And so girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. Who silence themselves. Who cannot say what they truly think. Who have turns pretence into an art form.” I couldn’t decide at first if I agreed with it or not. As women, we’ve all had experiences when we’ve been told to “cover up a bit” or “hide that bra strap”, or “dont wear that, people will get the wrong idea..” Its something that I’d never really given any thought to, but it’s definitely there. It’s the small things, the little comments that are for the most part said mindlessly or even unconsciously. I experienced it on a whole new level as a child/young teen while visiting my Dads family in the Middle East. When we visited Egypt each summer, the temperatures where always in the high thirties so naturally we were in little shorts and sleeveless tops, which was all fine until I was about nine or ten. After that, I remember constantly being told to cover up. At the time I didn’t really understand the culture difference fully, and I was just confused! Small things like my brother being greeted by our male relatives with a big hug, while I received a cold handshake, is enough to leave any child wondering ...Why?? I think subconsciously those experiences stayed with me for a long time. Too long really. As odd as it may sound, I was almost afraid of my sexuality for a long time. Blissfully unaware of it, even. Like a child trapped in a womans body, I was simply baffled if a guy took an interest in me. It’s really only now at 23, that I have finally accepted that – Yes, I am a woman, with a womans body, and that has given me a whole new sense of empowerment. I’m excited by it. It’s strangely like a whole new adventure! Females in the public eye such as Emily Ratajkowski, The Kardashians, Taylor Swift and Beyonce are all keen advocates of Fierce Feminism, all shamelessly showing off their curves – all sending out the message to women to be proud of their bodies. I think we all remember that Kim K selfie?! These figureheads take their fair share of scrutiny mind you. In a recent article published in the UK Independent both Ratajkowski and the Kardashians were accused of demeaning and “dehumanising women.” Despite her efforts to criticize the girls the journalist concerned managed to make a total ar** of herself by concluding the article with “They are not our sisters; they’re our rivals.” I mean I can’t even comment on that one! Are you a journalist for a national newspaper? Beyonce – a woman who defines feminism and has done for years, has been accused of being ‘inappropriately sexual’. In my opinion, she is an artist who expresses herself with a confidence every woman would aspire to attain even a small amount of. I know I would!! And, Do we have a model for how women can be ‘appropriately sexual’?? I can envision the opinions on these women from some people I know. They would think they are silly, uneducated, bad role models for young girls(you get the idea). While researching these modern day feminists myself, even I couldn’t help but wonder – Are these fame hungry ladies using their new brands of feminism as mere marketing?? In reality though, these are extremely clever business women. They have made it to the very top of their individual professions and are using their platforms to shape the future for women everywhere. Even if it is for their individual gain, doesn’t that only show the sheer power of it? I think what us ladies have finally realised is that by simply being female is a force in itself. We’re questioning why on earth we’ve been trying to be anything else? We’ve found power in our bodies – Strength in our vulnerabilities - and liberation in the knowledge that the world is becoming a place, in the west at least, where women can enjoy being just that. |
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